//clockwise from top left//
Hello friends,
Welcome to one of the new main segments here on the blog: Let's Get Social! In these weekly posts I'll talk about a social issue that I care about and would like to talk with you guys about. If there's something you'd like to chat about in future posts, I encourage you to leave a comment down below! I read every single comment and do my best to respond to everyone. I also encourage you all to discuss this week's topic, Self Love. And, when I say self love, I know there's a few souls in the back giggling...it's not that. This discussion is about self esteem and learning to love yourself beyond the physical ideas of beauty and societal pressures. So...Let's get social!
Nowadays, we live in a world that is saturated by the idea of beauty. It's everywhere...in the media, in the 'beauty' aisles at the grocery store, on our screens via 'beauty gurus'. A lot of the time, the idea of the ideal beauty is so made up and almost unattainable. If you're not wearing nails and lashes, you're not going to get any likes on your latest Instagram photo, no matter how many filters you put on. What are we teaching our young girls?
Like the ladies in the above, all of which are my favorite Youtubers, there is a glamour over most of our media. Nothing is honest any more. There's Photoshop, filters, makeup (don't get me wrong I LOVE makeup), and everyone is trying to 'out pretty' the next girl. There's money to be made if you're hot and know how to use filters well. And, it's driving us insane.
I can't lie, I grew up with an unrealistic idea of what the ideal woman was. I was that girl that was obsessed with barbies, and thought I'd grow up to be 5'10 with perfect hair down to my ass and a wicked collection of heels in my closet...I can't even fucking walk in heels. But seriously, I'm 5'2, wear a size 15 jean and have like 3 pairs of flats I rotate through out the week depending on the weather....I'm no Barbie. But I love who I am, and that took a lot of work.
During my semiprecious teenage years, I had zero self-confidence. I didn't know how to love myself, and I didn't know how to let people help me figure out how to. Letting people in was scary, I didn't trust anyone, and I was confused why I wasn't like the other girls...or specifically why I wasn't getting dates or boyfriends. Most of my self worth was wrapped up in whether or not a boy liked me. It's sad to look back at those precious years and realize how much I missed out on figuring out myself because I was trying to change for boys that didn't even think twice about me.
My mother, pictured next to me, as much as she tried never really instilled a sense of good self esteem in me. She would tell me stories about how popular she was in high school and how she was the social butterfly. I know she meant it to inspire me and to make me try harder in telling me where I came from in a sense...letting me know I had the potential to be great. And, I did...I just couldn't see it yet. In a weird way it all backfired and made it worse. It took a long time, like a really long time...and her death...to make me realize how amazing I can actually be and what she was trying to say. And, I know that sounds a little pretentious but I got mad love for myself and I'm not shying away from screaming that off the rooftops now.
People will tell you you're cocky or egotistical when you have love for yourself. You'll find yourself sticking up for yourself more, and learning to love everything about you! But, that's just them being scared. And that sounds cliche but I really think they are. Folks seem to get intimidated when someone has a good sense of self esteem...it makes them uncomfortable. It's hard for them to understand why that person is so confident. But, it's so important to find that self love and hold on to it for dear life. Once you find your worth within yourself, the rest of life seems to fall into place and those negative opinions don't matter any more. Things that seemed impossible before seem a little less unreachable.
So let's break this down.
Why is self love so important?
I feel like self love and self esteem are vital parts of our lives that we need to nourish and take care of like any other part of our health. Just like if you had a bad back you'd go to the chiropractor or do yoga, you've got to practice self love and take care of your mind. It's a beautiful thing when your mind and body align in harmony. When you're not battling yourself, the rest of the battles are a lot easier.
Why is self love something you need to practice?
I think of this along the same lines of practicing sign language. Bryan always tells me learning sign is a 'use it, or lose it' kind of skill. Self love is something we need to consistently work on because our surroundings, our life pressures, and the company we keep is constantly changing. There's negativity being thrown out there at such a rapid speed and the media's goal is to make you feel terrible about yourself so you'll buy more. Practicing self love, and self care is about 50% of your health, and needs to be looked after just as much and as often as you would any part of your body. Without it, you stand to lose the motivation to take care of everything else. "If I'm not happy, why should I be healthy? What's the point?" Mental health is a vital part of living life fully and happily!
What can you do right now to feel good about yourself?
This one is going to vary person to person. But, bear with me here. When I was in high school, and going through some tumultuous years, the guidance counselor at school told me I should look into the mirror and tell myself at least 3 things I like about myself. Even if I lied, which feels really weird at first, that counted too. I did it a few times, and it did feel really dumb to 'lie' to myself. But, after a while it started to feel nice to hear me saying good things about...myself. And eventually, I learned how to appreciate those things I had previously lied to myself about. Breaking that cycle of negative self talk is hard, but it is possible. It takes active listening to your own thoughts and recognizing when the negativity starts...why it starts... and making an active choice to stop it....to let it go in that moment and focus on something else.
What can you do long term to improve your relationship with self love?
To start, recognize the things that cause you to feel bad about yourself and don't bother with that shit anymore! Whether it's people, certain Instagram accounts, or certain magazines...let that shit go! Then, start surrounding yourself with things, and people that make you feel good. And let's be clear, that doesn't mean people that just inflate your ego with fake compliments, or buy you things...that's not love. Love is genuine encouragement and people that inspire you to be better! Start watching Youtubers that uplift your spirits. Gather a bunch of your girl friends and go have an impromptu photo shoot! Anything that is going to put some happy in your life! Sounds really cheesy, but when you chose happiness....happiness finds you. Be a magnet for goodness.
Also, one of my favorite ways to bring happiness into my life and feel better about myself is to help people. Even if it's as simple as talking to a friend on the phone that really needs someone to listen, or giving a couple of dollars and a sandwich to the man under the overpass. When you release positivity into the world, you get it back...that's called karma. Making other people happy and seeing good I've put out into the world makes me feel like I'm doing something worth while. And, that in turn makes me feel like I'm a decent person...which helps me love myself....and that my friends is the whole point.
Well friends, if you've gotten this far down into the post...thank you. I know this was a long one. And, the more I think about it....most of these posts are going to end up being long. There's a lot to speak about and a lot that I want to cover in one short post. I also know this is a ramble-y one. It took me just about the entire week to write...back and forth...deleting tons of content...early morning rambling....but here we are at the end.
I just want you to know that the journey to truly loving yourself is long and hard...but totally worth it. No one will ever appreciate you the way you...yourself can...because only you know the deepest crevasses in your mind and only you can explore those without judgement...if you let yourself. Get to know your soul, and appreciate you for who you really are. Once you do that, you can allow yourself to shine so the rest of the world can love you too!
Spread love, my friends!
And, let me know your thoughts on the matter down below in the comments!!
Also, check out my Facebook Page for my updates throughout the week, and more community discussions!
xo. Holly Erinn
No comments:
Post a Comment