Weekly Update no.11

Hello friends, 

It's been a few really crazy few days. This past week, since last we spoke, has definitely had its up's and down's. Later this week, I'll be flying to Texas to attend my eldest uncle's funeral. He passed away either this week from cancer. The whole family is doing their best to make it down and rally around each other in this dark moment. Our family may not talk as much or as often as we should, but there's never been a moment in our minds that we weren't proud to be apart of the Karnes clan. 

The beginning of the the week was a blast though! Bryan and I went to the way pool, which most of the photos above are from. We went to celebrate our dear friend Mark's birthday...even though we lost him for most of the day because it's such a huge pool! I haven't had that much fun swimming in a long time. Bryan was being the biggest goof that day, and had me cracking up the whole time. I love how silly he can be some times, my big silly bear...*le sigh*... he's also been super helpful around the house lately too! Before we moved, I'd never seen him be so handy. He's really stepped up his game since the move, and I'm really proud of him. 

I wish I could say things have settled down but things are crazy as ever around here. I've been keeping myself sane with drawing and my little fur babies. My office is slowly coming together, so I've been spending a good bit of time in there. Once I get my shelves figured out and get all my knick knacks organized, I'll give you guys a little photo tour. It's pretty cute in there so far! 

Did you post about anything cool this week? Leave me a link below! 

And, check out my Pinterest page! Let's pin together!! hhaha! 

xo. Holly Erinn 

Let's Get Social: Self Love no. 1

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 // Chrisspy // Kristen Leanne // Jaclyn Hill // Gigi Gorgeous

Hello friends, 

Welcome to one of the new main segments here on the blog: Let's Get Social! In these weekly posts I'll talk about a social issue that I care about and would like to talk with you guys about. If there's something you'd like to chat about in future posts, I encourage you to leave a comment down below! I read every single comment and do my best to respond to everyone. I also encourage you all to discuss this week's topic, Self Love. And, when I say self love, I know there's a few souls in the back giggling...it's not that. This discussion is about self esteem and learning to love yourself beyond the physical ideas of beauty and societal pressures. So...Let's get social! 

Nowadays, we live in a world that is saturated by the idea of beauty. It's everywhere...in the media, in the 'beauty' aisles at the grocery store, on our screens via 'beauty gurus'. A lot of the time, the idea of the ideal beauty is so made up and almost unattainable. If you're not wearing nails and lashes, you're not going to get any likes on your latest Instagram photo, no matter how many filters you put on. What are we teaching our young girls? 

Like the ladies in the above, all of which are my favorite Youtubers, there is a glamour over most of our media. Nothing is honest any more. There's Photoshop, filters, makeup (don't get me wrong I LOVE makeup), and everyone is trying to 'out pretty' the next girl. There's money to be made if you're hot and know how to use filters well. And, it's driving us insane. 

I can't lie, I grew up with an unrealistic idea of what the ideal woman was. I was that girl that was obsessed with barbies, and thought I'd grow up to be 5'10 with perfect hair down to my ass and a wicked collection of heels in my closet...I can't even fucking walk in heels. But seriously, I'm 5'2, wear a size 15 jean and have like 3 pairs of flats I rotate through out the week depending on the weather....I'm no Barbie. But I love who I am, and that took a lot of work. 

During my semiprecious teenage years, I had zero self-confidence. I didn't know how to love myself, and I didn't know how to let people help me figure out how to. Letting people in was scary, I didn't trust anyone, and I was confused why I wasn't like the other girls...or specifically why I wasn't getting dates or boyfriends. Most of my self worth was wrapped up in whether or not a boy liked me. It's sad to look back at those precious years and realize how much I missed out on figuring out myself because I was trying to change for boys that didn't even think twice about me. 

My mother, pictured next to me, as much as she tried never really instilled a sense of good self esteem in me. She would tell me stories about how popular she was in high school and how she was the social butterfly. I know she meant it to inspire me and to make me try harder in telling me where I came from in a sense...letting me know I had the potential to be great. And, I did...I just couldn't see it yet. In a weird way it all backfired and made it worse. It took a long time, like a really long time...and her death...to make me realize how amazing I can actually be and what she was trying to say. And, I know that sounds a little pretentious but I got mad love for myself and I'm not shying away from screaming that off the rooftops now. 

People will tell you you're cocky or egotistical when you have love for yourself. You'll find yourself sticking up for yourself more, and learning to love everything about you! But, that's just them being scared. And that sounds cliche but I really think they are. Folks seem to get intimidated when someone has a good sense of self esteem...it makes them uncomfortable. It's hard for them to understand why that person is so confident.  But, it's so important to find that self love and hold on to it for dear life. Once you find your worth within yourself, the rest of life seems to fall into place and those negative opinions don't matter any more. Things that seemed impossible before seem a little less unreachable. 

So let's break this down. 

Why is self love so important?

I feel like self love and self esteem are vital parts of our lives that we need to nourish and take care of like any other part of our health. Just like if you had a bad back you'd go to the chiropractor or do yoga, you've got to practice self love and take care of your mind. It's a beautiful thing when your mind and body align in harmony. When you're not battling yourself, the rest of the battles are a lot easier. 

Why is self love something you need to practice?

I think of this along the same lines of practicing sign language. Bryan always tells me learning sign is a 'use it, or lose it' kind of skill. Self love is something we need to consistently work on because our surroundings, our life pressures, and the company we keep is constantly changing. There's negativity being thrown out there at such a rapid speed and the media's goal is to make you feel terrible about yourself so you'll buy more. Practicing self love, and self care is about 50% of your health, and needs to be looked after just as much and as often as you would any part of your body. Without it, you stand to lose the motivation to take care of everything else. "If I'm not happy, why should I be healthy? What's the point?" Mental health is a vital part of living life fully and happily! 

What can you do right now to feel good about yourself?

This one is going to vary person to person. But, bear with me here.  When I was in high school, and going through some tumultuous years, the guidance counselor at school told me I should look into the mirror and tell myself at least 3 things I like about myself. Even if I lied, which feels really weird at first, that counted too. I did it a few times, and it did feel really dumb to 'lie' to myself. But, after a while it started to feel nice to hear me saying good things about...myself. And eventually, I learned how to appreciate those things I had previously lied to myself about. Breaking that cycle of negative self talk is hard, but it is possible. It takes active listening to your own thoughts and recognizing when the negativity starts...why it starts... and making an active choice to stop it....to let it go in that moment and focus on something else. 

What can you do long term to improve your relationship with self love?

To start, recognize the things that cause you to feel bad about yourself and don't bother with that shit anymore! Whether it's people, certain Instagram accounts, or certain magazines...let that shit go! Then, start surrounding yourself with things, and people that make you feel good. And let's be clear, that doesn't mean people that just inflate your ego with fake compliments, or buy you things...that's not love. Love is genuine encouragement and people that inspire you to be better! Start watching Youtubers that uplift your spirits. Gather a bunch of your girl friends and go have an impromptu photo shoot! Anything that is going to put some happy in your life! Sounds really cheesy, but when you chose happiness....happiness finds you. Be a magnet for goodness. 

Also, one of my favorite ways to bring happiness into my life and feel better about myself is to help people. Even if it's as simple as talking to a friend on the phone that really needs someone to listen, or giving a couple of dollars and a sandwich to the man under the overpass. When you release positivity into the world, you get it back...that's called karma. Making other people happy and seeing good I've put out into the world makes me feel like I'm doing something worth while. And, that in turn makes me feel like I'm a decent person...which helps me love myself....and that my friends is the whole point. 

Well friends, if you've gotten this far down into the post...thank you. I know this was a long one. And, the more I think about it....most of these posts are going to end up being long. There's a lot to speak about and a lot that I want to cover in one short post. I also know this is a ramble-y one. It took me just about the entire week to write...back and forth...deleting tons of content...early morning rambling....but here we are at the end. 

I just want you to know that the journey to truly loving yourself is long and hard...but totally worth it. No one will ever appreciate you the way you...yourself can...because only you know the deepest crevasses in your mind and only you can explore those without judgement...if you let yourself. Get to know your soul, and appreciate you for who you really are. Once you do that, you can allow yourself to shine so the rest of the world can love you too! 

Spread love, my friends! 

And, let me know your thoughts on the matter down below in the comments!! 

Also, check out my Facebook Page for my updates throughout the week, and more community discussions! 

xo. Holly Erinn 

Friday Favorites no.19

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Hello friends, 

Summer is upon us, my dear friends! We celebrated the solstice this week with a strawberry moon. My lazy ass fell asleep before I was able to see it. That's nothing new. As soon as the sun falls, I start yawning. Any way...

Earlier in the week, I spoke to you guys about curated posts, and how I didn't want to flood the blog with a million of them. And, I'm not. Though, I am going to continue with the weekly Friday Favorites post. I hate the multitude of curated posts I was creating but I always look forward to Friday's post. I get to recap the week with you guys, share a few weird internet shit. I love that stuff! 

This week, I wanted to share some really summery vibes with you guys. I've got a little baby collection of cacti in my front window, so I'm sure you noticed a few in this post.  I've also been itching to do a photo shoot with my girls. There's been this idea of doing a really fancy fairy shoot floating around in my head lately and I want to make it come to life. 

You'll also notice a few home goods dancing around up there in the post. That's because I've been nesting since the move. There's been a huge focus in mine and Bryan's life to decorate our house and make it look awesome. We're going for an eclectic vibe....meaning...there's no real theme, it's just a bunch of cool shit we like *insert laughing emoji here*! 

Any way, I hope you guys had an awesome week! Did you write about anything fun that happened? Share your links with me down in the comments. 

xoxo. Holly Erinn 

Etsy Finds

these amazing pants

by lipstainandlegos

this amazing hat

by merakietsy

this amazing patch

by asildastore

this super adorable cat ring

by boygirlparty

this incredibly accurate print

by smudgecreativedesign

Weekly Linkage

8 Things Successful Freelancers Do Online

19 Things To Do for Your Blog When You Don't Feel Like Doing Anything

Blog While You 9-5

5 Big Batch Drinks That Will Get Your Bridal Shower Drunk AF

10 Minute Ball Exercise 

Macchiato Macarons

Cute Munchkin Baby Kitten Talks Too Much

Weekly Update no. 10

Hello friends, 

It's been a crazy few months since last we really sat down and chatted. Bryan and I recently moved into our first home together. We've rented out the cutest little trailer with my baby brother David and his boyfriend. Say what you will about trailer living, I love it! I know it has a bit of a stereotype attached to it, but once you see it, especially inside, you'd lose that attitude real quick. It's been a ton of fun though. I've never really had the opportunity to have a space that was purely mine. I lived with my parents for years, went off to college, and the moved in with Bryan's parents and that's where we've been for the past 3 years now. It was certainly time for a change, and we certainly had hit that point in life where it's super awkward and folks start to question why you're still living at home. We're both really happy with it. It's not even a full month in and it already feels like home.  

About a week or so into moving in, there was a bit of a stall in production. My wisdom teeth, that had come in years prior and eventually all four had cracked, started to give me issues. Honestly friends, I have never been in so much pain in my entire life. Legit. Eventually, after many many many visits to dentists, the hospital and even an oral surgeon- I was pointed in the direction of a free dental clinic downtown. I swear it was fate, because the day I was told about it was the ONLY day they would be in town. I went down. Sat in line. Got incredibly sick (because of high doses of pain medication). And I got my damn teeth pulled in under 15 minutes! The amazing angels that took care of me when no one else would (the oral surgeon wanted me to wait an entire month before he would see me) are part of a mission called Mom-N-PA Dental Missions.  I am beyond thankful to these amazing people. I have never been treated with so much care and respect! Highly highly recommend looking into their missions if you are having issues with your dental needs. 

But, I'm healing now. Not totally healed, but I'm on my way to a full recovery...and best of all I'm pain free! So, basically that whole fiasco took about a week and a half out of my life and put our whole house project on hold....which put my business, this blog, and all my other official duties on hold as well. Things are back up and running though. I almost have my office completely together. There's just a few shelves that need installed, and I need a few chairs...one for my desk and one for at my easel. After that, I'll be able to show you all around in there!  

Since I've been feeling better, I'm been attempting to do more crafty projects and draw more. I hate not being able to do any of that. I get really antsy when I can't create things...even if that just means sitting down with my sketchbook and doodling. I can't wait to dive into the office and get a ton of work done. David, my brother, and I are planning on getting back into Youtube. We actually even filmed some last night. From even the planning stages of this move, my brain has been buzzing with ideas for our channels and this blog. I'm still not exactly sure what all I want to stock my store with yet. But, that's what this place is for....journeying through the multitudes of project ideas I have floating through my brain. I can't wait to continue on this journey with you guys with much better focus this time around and a refreshed sense of self. 

I hope you'll stick around and follow me down this windy path of weird internet oversharing! 

xoxo. Holly Erinn 

Big Changes 'Round These Parts!

**this is gonna be a long one, folks**

Hello friends! 

Well, as per usual I have taken another long break from blogging. For a while, I kept wondering why I do this, why can't I keep my blog running for more than a few months...why do I get bored with my writing? I was going strong from January to March with some of my favorite posts I've ever written like the Josh Ritter appearance on the Jukebox, A Jean Vest Journey, and some of my Weekly Update posts like this.  Accidentally, I took a short break back in March that ended up being an extra long break up until now. In that time, I really sat with the idea of my blog and explored all aspects, questioning myself and my motives behind it. I did a lot of reading. There's so much to learn from our fellow bloggers, and the gals that have paved the way before us. My largest board on Pinterest is my Blogging & Business board.  I've got almost 500 pins on there that are mainly 'how to blog better' type posts. Reading about how other people found their focus and their tips on the subject really had me thinking about the path that this little corner of the internet I have here is going. 

I've been flying under the name Happinessbrand since about 2013. It was born after my first blog Order & Chaos, a blog that I ran with a few friends of mine, died. There was a lack of balance in the effort that was being put out and I basically got burned out, eventually wanting to branch out on my own. Happinessbrand was my answer to that... I was looking for happiness and I figured this would be a good place to start on creating my own. And, I did! Over the years, this brand has served me well, and I've created some things that I am EXTREMELY proud of. But as the years go on, I've grown....and I've grown out of the Happinessbrand name, and what it stood for.  I'm thankful for the years that I've had with my brand and what it has afforded me to do, but it's time for a change! 

I begin to analyze what really makes me happy, especially when it came to blogging. What sparked a passion in me, and what did not? What posts during the week did I dread writing, which posts were a pain in the ass to write? It was those fluffy curated posts that mainly came from other people's photos and posts. Everyone writes those, I thought....so why am I? Don't I have something better to offer? Don't I have something better to say? Enough with these curated, under-inspired posts...what am I doing?! I need to make some shit!! 

I've found through my personal blogging exploration that I am most excited and inspired to write when I am sharing my art, or making a craft and sharing the process! Those are the posts I love. They drive me to make things, and in a way force me to draw more...there's a reason to do things like that when I blog! That is what drives me! I'm tired of trying to blog like I'm some one else, or attempting to have a blog that, well, just isn't me. 

So, my friends, this brings me to my point...Happinessbrand is phasing out and a new identity will be rolling in. I have chosen to rebrand the blog with a new name, logo, look and feel....even the content will be a bit different. I want this blog to feel like me again. I need to stop being 'trendy' and trying to write about 'trendy' topics. I am a hippie, a bohemian, a free spirit-- and this blog does not reflect that at the moment. Recently, I've been getting back to my roots and finding out who I really am. Ideally, I want this to be a home for more thoughtful, honest content and exploding with color and art! It's taking a little longer than I would like, only because I lost all of my editing programs like Photoshop when my good computer died, but we're working around that. My brother is going to let me use his computer, and I think I'm going to get a cheap-y version just to make things work for the rebrand. Until then, the name will stay Happinessbrand and I will keep you guys up to date on the progress. I've chosen a name already, but we'll take about that in a bit. 

This rebranding will happen in stages, and I'll share each step of the process with you guys as I go along. I'll announce the new name in a separate, more official post. We recently moved and I'm currently in the process of putting together my new office, and the rest of our new home. It's mine and Bry's first home, and it's been quite the undertaking. So, things have been put on hold in a way while we get everything in order. But, I'm still working behind the scenes to plan content, and gather information and ideas. This has been in the works for a few months now, I've felt this deep urge that something wasn't right here on the blog--something just didn't fit-didn't work. And now, that I've figured that thing out...things are going to set off like a wild fire! 

You read all these posts from big bloggers that have their shit together...most of them tell you 'find your focus, find your focus'! And up until recently, I didn't think that was very important. I just figured, I could blog about anything I want at anytime and that would work. And, for a moment it did....but I couldn't keep up with it. I wasn't inspired. I didn't have the passion to continue writing like that. I was trying to be someone I'm not...we'll talk more about that later too! I've got a whole post planned on that subject. 

I've also found out through my 'trying to blog like someone else' phase that blogger burn out is a real thing, a real pain in the ass thing. I was trying to have a new post up every day, it was driving me nuts--just too much pressure. Trying to juggle a full time job, an Etsy shop, and this blog on top of attempting to have some sort of social life was a bit too much when I was trying to make this blog run full time. I had put too much on my plate, and I was crumbling. So in addition to rebranding, bringing you better content--I will also be cutting down on the number of posts that go out each week. Each post will be thoughtful, and the best quality content I can possibly put out there. And, that's the main goal! Instead of trying to pump out massive amounts of sub-par quality shit, I want to bring you the best I can make! 

If you've made it through this whole post, congrats and thank you for reading down this far. I know this post is incredibly text heavy, but I had a lot to say on the matter. So, in addition to all these changes, I want to invite you all to feel free to comment, question, and voice your concerns! This blog is mainly about my journey in the art world, my view on social issues, and my pursuit of a more colorful world--but I also want to harvest a sense of community. That's a huge part of the rebranding. I want to develop a tribe a creative souls that crave color, and live for social justice, a tribe that enjoys creating a beautiful world around them and strives to learn as much as they can! If that sounds like something you'd be into, stick around...become part of the family! 

xoxo, Holly Erinn